My word is a bond and it’s a bond that I definitely keep. I mentioned that I planned on writing more about myself but it still feels a bit weird to be so direct about myself. While I do write about myself, it’s usually tied into my writing itself so it’s more hidden.
When I first started writing, I wrote about people by writing poems along with other writing pieces, essentially glazing them. In a way, people were my muse at one point. Eventually, I shifted to writing for myself, which is why half of my writing is introspective in its nature.
Honestly, I still enjoy writing about people– it’s fun to write about him and their reactions act as a sweetener. I just realized something, it’s the only application of my writing that I can’t get cancelled for. I can already see how my writing could get misinterpreted otherwise.
That’s why I explicitly mention that my mental health is good and refrain from dark humor in my general writing. Honestly, I’d definitely be more trigger-happy with my humor if I didn’t have to worry about the overzealousness of some people.
Something that I’ve gained from writing about people is a tendency to watch them and learn more about them. I can’t write about them if I don’t know anything about them. Sure, I could just glaze over their physical appearance but that’s just embellishment– not actual praise.
It’s like being a spectator, a habit that I’ve come to enjoy since people are simply that entertaining. I’d say that I enjoy watching them since it’s like a comedy show, but they’d probably take offense to being trivialized like that.
Every action of a person can be seen as an expression of their personality, a personality that I want to study– it’s a scholarly pursuit in a way. I’ve come to appreciate the actions of people, both small and large since within these actions– intent can be inferred from it.
I have a memory that I would consider as above average? While I do forget names, I don’t forget anything else. One of my favorite things to do is to just collect memories and to use them against people. I will bludgeon you with your own words if I get an opportunity to do so.
Apart from that, I’m not familiar with starting conversations since it seems that I’ve forgotten how to. Usually, I find an opportunity to add myself into a conversation midway through and then continue from there or someone else starts it.
While I am a bit talkative, I would say that it would be more accurate to say that I don’t like silence. Even now, as I’m typing this– I’m listening to The Weekend. I always listen to music whenever I wear my headset.
The only time that I work in silence is when I feel like music would just be a hindrance instead. It helps with my writing and I can use it to induce passion. The side effect of this is that I become deaf.
There’s two layers of my deafness, as my active noise cancelling is effective– so if you find me in the wild, just tap me or something if you want to speak. I do try to pay attention by reading physical cues and estimate whether I’m being addressed– but I’m only human after all.
Sigh, I love humanity, and people are an extension of humanity– so I love you all by that virtue. Of course my love isn’t constant, it’s weight is determined by my thoughts and it’s not like I lack the capacity to hate. If I take away this initial love that I give people, then I can say that I love humanity and hate people.
Hate and love are co-equals and opposites, so by those words– my hate can only be matched by love. Now, you may be wondering– why am I mentioning this? It’s because there’s an incongruity with my writing and my real-life mannerisms.
My writing is the most passionate facet of myself. It serves as a counterpart of my real life persona that is more collected in all but phrasing. My emotions are most vividly felt when I am writing, be it the throes of silent melancholy, an immolating hatred, a lament that ripples through time, a blissful sense of happiness.
The only feasible way for me to express these feelings is with writing– it allows me to control their expression, binding them to this activity. After all, these emotions are the ink that shall wetten my quill– my words carrying these vicious feelings.
While my writing may contain references to people, they are the only people that are able to link themselves to that reference– even if they were to ask me if I am referring to them, my only response shall be a denial.
The anonymity that I grant is irrevocable– a distinction must remain between emotions and writing. A line that I echo is that everything is excess is no different than poison.
I don’t use hate as a descriptor of my indications towards a person– they’re not worthy of being hated in the first place. It is their behaviour and flaws that should be hated, not the person themselves.
Why should I deny them the opportunity to change themselves based on my static perception? I limit myself to disliking them since my hate should be directed towards worthy targets– ones that aren’t limited to an individual.
When I write, my feelings are more general in their scope than people– so, don’t assume that you’re the reason why I write a 2,000 word piece within a day. I can’t even write negatively of a person as I’m still bound by numerous regulations in the first place so there’s that as well.
If you feel targeted by my words, you are a victim of circumstance– I may love you but I will not blunt my words. Take solace in the fact that it was never meant for you– my target is not human in the first place.
To criticize the law, you must first learn it– which is why I read up on policies and rules since it’s my responsibility to myself to protect myself from consequences and to ensure that I’m not the only person being chained by them. I may not strike first, but I’m definitely going to wait and compile a report on every infraction you committed.
Learning about people’s habits and actions gives me more fuel for me to make conjectures– no matter how small they are. Honestly, it’s like being the personification of a data scrapper since I have both good eyes and ears to observe.
It’s another reason why I drown myself in sound, since I recognize that there’s some conversations that I don’t need to listen to. An upside to having a decent brain and senses is that you can tell when someone is talking about you from a distance– it’s fun surprising people but space should be given regardless.
In the future, I plan on writing some pieces in more of an informational manner. The primary topic that I’ll be focusing on in this regard is the Military since I believe that the research that I’ve done can help others decide on whether they truly intend on joining or not. While all five branches do belong to the same nation, they’re distinct enough for people to want to not screw themselves by choosing the wrong ones.
For example, if someone wants to get a cyber career in the military– they are held to different expectations in each branch. For example, the Air Force is akin to a corporate workspace but retains the elements of a military while the Marines are all expected to be combat-ready and quick on their feet.
So if they choose the air force, they are held to a less of a standard in their physical capacity and combat readiness. If they (unfortunately) chose the Marines, then the standards remain the same for them and they have to be mentally prepared to be deployed at any time.
This is an oversimplified example since I plan on going into a deep layer of detail for my upcoming work. I believe that it just reached the top of my priority list so after I’m done with this piece– I’m going to do more research and will start writing about it.
So, if you’re interested in a certain topic and you send me a message about it– I might write a piece on it. Keep in mind that it’s my discretion to decide on writing it and that my knowledge is ultimately limited in its scope.
I plan on writing more about Federal Agencies and the Police since there’s a relationship between the two. There’s also the matter of Security Clearances and the changes incoming for procuring them. It’s important for both Military and Federal Agencies due to the nature of their work.
It seems that I’ve been derailed from my original reason for writing lol. I like to learn about people since I believe that I can bles- help them with my intelligence. It kills two stones with one bird since I get both knowledge and get to yap about it.
I don’t like being so emotional outside of writing since I’m shy, so while I may blabber about sentiment here– I’d be hard-pressed to say a quarter of the emotions that I wrote. Anyways, it seems that I’ve forgotten the rest of what I’ve originally had in mind to write.
Since I am obligated to finish one piece before beginning another, I can’t leave this incomplete. Honestly, I’m already in the mood to write about that next piece. I know that this isn’t really that structured compared to my normal writing and that it doesn’t really do justice to the title of “About me”.
Here’s the thing though. All of my writing is about me in some way, I’ve already left vestiges of myself in every piece I published here– so to compensate for that, I’ll guide your next steps if you have both time and intent.
“Looking back” are my thoughts on every writing piece that I wrote before it, so it shows a bit of my thoughts on my writing itself. “Ego and Death” is a name that I have conflicted feelings for, but it’s essentially my story of the past 5-6 years. It lacks detail since at the time I wasn’t ready to link my writing to my identity.
I wrote my thoughts about linking my identity to my writing in “Censor’s Identity” and it also has a bit more detail about some of my bad tendencies. “Mid-Break” is also quite similar to “Thoughts#1” and “Looking back” so I’d recommend you read those as well.
Reference-wise, I might reference the ideas, philosophy and terms used in “Censor’s Identity” and “Death’s Gravity”. I’m not writing it’s full name since I now see it as abhorrant lol. A bonus for those who are actually interested in my writing style is the obvious “Writing Style”.
For the Military piece, I’m going to publish the link to its google doc instead of the actual piece since I plan on incorporating hyperlinks to it. I plan on hammering the seriousness of joining the military and general knowledge before I get into branch-specifics. This is another reason why I need to watch my online presence since I have plans in mind.
I drink this gulp of water in honour of your resilience in reading this rambling piece of mine. It technically took me two days but in reality it’s only been a few hours. If you do check out my other pieces as a result of my recommendations, then I’ll raise my bottle of water for a toast.
Congratulations for reaching the end of this piece.** 21-Bonds 28-Companies 15-Looking Back 16-Censor’s Identity 13-Mid-Break 17-Thoughts_1 15-Looking Back 10-Vulnerable. Death’s gravity. 08-Writing Style 23-Trifecta