I am bound to my words, and so I am obligated to amend them constantly. It’s not a subject up for debate, regardless of what it documents.
In ‘Thoughts#2’, I wrote about a bunch of projects and ideas that I had. Unfortunately, I can’t commit to all of them. I’ve already missed the deadline for some essays and I don’t have enough time to write the rest.
The first project that I’m writing about is one familiar to some people already. In ‘Judgement’, I wrote about writing a guide on the Military– it aligned with my career path and I felt motivated at the time.
I recognize that at least one of the reasons is petty, but I do not recognize any opposing arguments. I’ve been enrolled in this school for almost a year now, yet the only branch I’ve seen is the Marines.
I’d prefer that my peers and underclassmen would explore other branches before settling on them. The USMC’s purpose is to be the Military’s rapid response force. As such, every marine is trained as a rifleman, no matter their Military Occupational Specialty (MOS).
I’ve nothing against the Marines, but people tend to generalize the risks of joining the Military– there’s a reason why we have six branches.
The Marines exist to create footholds to enable follow-on forces. A part of their identity is being one of the first to deploy as a conventional force. While the actual risk depends on factors like your MOS and exact assignment, the Marine Corps is structured for early phase operations.
An aspirant has the right to know all of their options, the boons and consequences of them all. To prod them towards a single option in this manner is disingenuous. Since the other recruiters barely come around here, the Marines are the only impression of the military that our school has.
I plan on commissioning as an Officer in the Armed Forces. Writing serves myself by increasing the breadth and depth of my knowledge in a way that befits me. But, some amendments are to be made.
It’s been months since I last opened it. I’m currently preoccupied with another project and my life, so there’s no room in my jaw to take another bite. Originally, I was going to discontinue it entirely– but duty compels me once more.
Once I start working on it, I’ll probably rekindle. I recognize this situation to be a sunk-cost fallacy, but if I purely worked on logic– I wouldn’t be writing to begin with.
Apart from that, this guide is a taxing one to write. Before writing it, I thought that I would only have to write. Instead, I’ve been slaving away doing the formatting and editing to make it look semi-professional.
It’s more time-consuming than writing and has become tedious, to the point that I’ve begun to hate it. I can’t delegate it as well, so I’m left rotting when I could be writing.
This project is special for me, as it’s my first long-term commitment and served as a catalyst for my growth in terms of people. They say first impressions are lasting. The stress of writing has distorted my impression beyond my intent. I’m not sure if I’ve fixed it or not, but I have to ball regardless.
Either way, that set off a chain of events that made me open up more. From this project, I’ve learnt about the full extent of the incompetence of the AI touted to replace us all. I chucked my entire guide into a local LLM to recompile the table of contents(TOC), only for me to spend 10 minutes waiting and an additional 15 minutes correcting it.
Given the scope of this project and its length, I believe that I could justify my usage. The credit for the TOC and headings is shared, as me and it rewrote it to the point that I couldn’t remember enough to give the credit to a single entity.
My commitment to writing without directly using AI in my work remains strong. To substitute my words for a soulless husk is a revolting act, one violates my ethics.
As it currently stands, I shall publish this incomplete guide– to allow for public comment and to relieve myself temporarily of this weight. It’d be appreciated if I get someone else to help me, but expectations only lead to disappointment.
I hope you know, I spent five hours formatting this into a presentable format. I forgot to add the health unit into the document and spent a solid bit of my time properly indexing everything. I even had to learn how to use LibreWriter for this.
In total, I’ve written over 6,000 words and I feel like I haven’t done anything yet. Just thinking about finishing this gets me fired up.
This project is incomplete, but not forgotten. Patience shall complete it.
My words for this project are over, but there’s a reason why this is called ‘Discontinue’. And so, I turn to what’s else– the rest of my proposed ideas and projects.
In ‘Thoughts#2’, I wrote about writing a religious essay in light of Ramadan. As you can tell, there is no essay with that name– the month has already passed. Due to a lack of time, I wasn’t able to even start.
After weighing the merits of this case, I am discontinuing it. There is no need for me to overtly display my own religion. To write as such is to perform in a manner that I have rejected. Let religion be glimpsed from my normal writing, to be a constant company in each of my essays.
Even if I don’t invoke my own religion, my words are a reflection of me– my words are molded by it. In the future, I may start adding more religious references and write more openly– but my rule of disclosure remains as is.
Dedicating an essay may lead me to commit perjury against myself, a sin that I can’t bear. Religion may guide my life, but I’m not qualified to write with the intent I had in writing ‘Crescent’.
‘Stained Glass’ is a bit different. It was meant to be a series of essays on other people I knew, hence it being stained. But, I find it to be a bit redundant as it overlaps with the same project that I’m currently working on.
Forcing myself to write essays dedicated to others is counterintuitive, so I’ll probably write individual essays on people over the course of the summer. It’s not guaranteed, but it’d be a waste to shutter this project entirely– so this counts as a continuation of sorts.
Apart from these projects, I’ve switched to a new publication method that better suits the nature of my posts.
I knew that I could’ve published my slides as portraits, but I didn’t think to publish pages until an academic did it here. This change serves as a compliment to his ingenuity, since this is at best an imitation of his work.
It has its own learning curve, one that I’m realizing as I write. I’ve published it two times around, as the first one wasn’t too clear due to a misconfiguration of a few settings.
For the portrait slides, you’ll have to ask me directly. For text formatting, I’ve taken a few liberties from the Supreme Court’s Rule 33 and the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. If it’s good enough for the highest courts of the land, then surely it’d suffice for this humble seat’s writing.
Just as I’ve dedicated my time to writing, I’ve been keeping an eye on the Courts– by extension our government. My hobbies may vary, but I do put in a good effort.
Speaking of hobbies, I do write poetry– but this isn’t it. I must admit, it’s a bit disheartening for my work to be known as poetry. I cannot attribute this to malice, and so this falls under negligence. For it to happen once is… expected, but twice?
If a person desires to mention my writing either in passing or in greater detail, they must have a modicum of knowledge in regards to it. A poem is short, written cohesively with an overarching theme, and is to be full of symbolism.
My writing at times may resemble that, but the length alone should’ve deterred anyone from making such remarks. Both implicitly and explicitly, I’ve woven this understanding of my work into my essays.
I would say that I’m disappointed, but I’ve already hedged my bet on both sides on this. If a person concludes that I’ve been writing poetry– then I must ask. What have you read, to have reached this conclusion?
There’s dozens of questions that come to mind, but only this one can encompass them all. I recognize the lack of malice, and the bonds that bind me so– so I’ve softened my words. Even then, do I not have my pride as a writer?
My mannerisms are a mimicry of the Courts, but this is no trial. It’s an inquiry of the past, directed towards the future. If I go any further than this, then my act of writing is cheapened by pettiness.
It would do us well to admit our ignorance, than to speak heedlessly. People sometimes conflate speaking with kindness, as this act gives them presence. From this understanding, silence becomes malice– being seen as an act of indifference.
I am silent out of ignorance, ignorant of worldly matters– but I am nonetheless conscious of this defect. It’s better to be truthful than to unknowingly lie in the midst of my ramblings, even if my words are absent.
Ignorance is malicious when it comes to outcomes. At the same time, its intent is benign by default. If a person is conscious of it and persists, then it becomes malicious. Such ignorance is held to strict scrutiny, as my tolerance can invert as a result of this.
This is the basis of my paradoxical tolerance, as I find it much easier to forgive the former than the latter. When it comes to myself, the only standard I am judged by is strict scrutiny.
After all, I wrote my words into existence. I cannot disavow or amend them without first acknowledging them. To be fatigued is human. But the limits of humanity are a warning– not the end. It is my mandate to be responsible regardless of my state.
Author’s note: This is probably one of my messier writings, but I don’t have the luxury of refining it further. I decided to add a few more personal references for the future, since only I know what I’m planning. That’s all for this note. As always, congratulations on reaching the end of this essay.
I know that this essay is messier than normal, but I don’t have the luxury of refining it further. A day has expired since I’ve solicited feedback, and I don’t expect a response anytime soon.
With this change, I don’t think I’ll ever have to make multiple parts for an essay. Gone are the days where I lost my progress publishing an essay. For the last part of my essay, I wrote it as a part of my project– so let me leave a few words for the future.
When it comes to writing, I create systems and intellectualize my emotions. So don’t take it as me being cold. If I was going to admonish you– then I would’ve said it directly. I may express myself indirectly, but I prefer being straightforward when it comes to conflicts. I’ll expand on this in a future essay, but no promises.
As always, congratulations on reaching the end of this essay.