This is a feeling that a decent number of people would relate to. Being alone, knowing that you could interact with others– being able to rid yourself of that feeling. But you choose to stay alone, not wanting to interact with people that you barely know.
The exact reason for you choosing to stay alone is actually a surprisingly elusive answer. It’s like a truth that doesn’t want to be found, just barely out of reach.
So I’m just going to list out the possible reasons why people are loners. (Definitely not from personal experience)
For starters, people often stay alone and don’t interact with others since they aren’t willing to know about each other in the first place. This is usually seen when you’re assigned spots with people you don’t know and have to work with them for projects.
For anything to develop further– up to the point of acquaintances or more, you would have to sit with them at least a week or two. Even then, it also depends on the composition of the group.
Some groups consist of people who you’ll have nothing in common with, people that are also loners and don’t seem to be keen on looking for friends– for those types of groups, you won’t really be able to develop your relationships with them unless you’re just that good of a person to be with. You’ll be with yourself except for when your teacher assigns you to a team project or splits the class into teams for an activity.
Some people don’t like to get out of their comfort zone and will harden their heart from anyone that doesn’t exist in their comfort zone, those people will warm up to you over time. Here’s the catch– if you don’t start interacting with them first, they aren’t going to interact with you and then it’ll just be an awkward atmosphere until you finally break the ice or enough time passes for them to be comfortable.
Some people just dislike the vibe of the people they’re dealing with for one reason or another, so it’s natural for them to not want to interact with those people. There’s nothing you can really do– after all it takes two to tangle and there’s no point in forcing something that isn’t meant to be.
Some people are afraid of people and are very self-conscious about themselves, so they perceive their own faults the clearest and will magnify them. They won’t approach people and will be paralyzed by overthinking— The way to deal with them is to just be the person speaking first, that way they won’t be stuck thinking on how to interact with you first, from there it’s smooth sailing.
Other people simply lack social skills in general or are awkward with people, which is honestly fine but at the same time disadvantageous for them. After all, they’ll be in social environments for a while and so for you to build up a connection with them– you’ll have to carry the conversation.
There’s definitely more reasons than the ones that I’ve been pondering, but there’s no use for me to constantly think about it. If the thought comes, it’ll come. If it doesn’t, then I can’t force it. Inspiration is natural and can’t be forced.
I understand that my words may sound easy, it’s definitely harder in practice. After all, I’m writing this as if I have a clear look at the inner thoughts of people– when in reality, it’s way harder to perceive what a person is actually thinking. We’re real people, not people of ink.
The key lies with your ability to see detail and paying attention to people, overthinking is both a blessing and a curse for this. If you’re an extrovert or have the ability to connect with strangers easily, this will be easier for you to actually pull off. I’m just providing my opinion, whose worth is subjective to those reading.
From what I’ve observed in high school, classmates with no prior interaction with another usually speak to one another only when it’s necessary; for example, when the teacher assigns you to groups and makes you do icebreaker activities.
It’s partially effective, but at the same time is relatively useless, since some people already know each other and will naturally form groups with each other. I would say that this is in between a common and uncommon occurrence, as it’s just uncommon enough for it to not be classified as common but is common enough for it to not be classified as uncommon.
So after those ice breaker activities, we’re eventually given the option to pick a spot freely, where you’ll be able to gain more insight into how much people know each other. After everyone picks a spot, you can observe them further to understand them and their seating arrangement better.
The way that seating is picked is usually influenced by their knowledge of themselves and others. For example, if a guy just joined a class that was already in progress, he would look for a spot closest to him. If he had more than one spot open to sit in, he would most likely for a spot that has other guys as well, that way he wouldn’t feel alone.
Interesting, how did I get from trying to write out the possible reasons why a person wants to be alone rather than reaching out to others to write about seating arrangements.