If my writing was meant to be convenient, then I would’ve uploaded this essay after the poll. Let me start this by thanking the five people who partook in this poll. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve dealt with five, I’d have two. It’s not a lot, but it’s still odd.
In the past, I changed the ending of one of my essays since I believed that it was too revealing, and apologized to what I presumed as five people as I rewrote it and published it again. Looking back at it, I can’t tell if it was five pairs of eyes or a single pair just blinking furiously.
Now, before I continue this– I have a few words to say as my conscience can’t rest without them. I recognize that some people believe that they have an obligation to like my writing and to affirm it as an extension of their affinity towards me, regardless of their personal feelings and judgement.
I recognize that some people may feel pressured, that this pressure may create a strain on the string that ties people together. I can’t see everything, but I feel the need to prune some paths and decision trees.
You hold no obligation to even read my essays. With every iota of rationality I have within me, I shall not look at you differently if you don’t read them. If a person likes me, they shouldn’t feel compelled to like all of me indiscriminately.
For why else do I thank you at the end of every essay? It is a recognition of your effort and choice, my gratitude towards it. You do not need to prove your ties with me, to reassure me while keeping your own baggage in a sleeve in this manner.
There are far better ways to do so, a single conversation being enough– I’d never turn one down. I may like people, but this kinship is not mutually exclusive with a few minor scruples of mine. If a person expects me to like every facet of themselves, then it’ll fall on deaf ears. On the off chance that my ears are open, then you’ll find me incensed.
It is my conscious choice to like every facet of a person rather than an extension of my goodwill. I see these extensions of goodwill as subtle coercion, and I’ve already established a loathing towards coercion of any form.
You see, I can’t help but treat those who support my writings with a bit more favor. I am sensible to my defects, so while I may not be able to curb them in full– I certainly recognize their existence.
This mechanism is one prone to abuse, and so I must remain vigilant in this regard. It doesn’t matter if these steps make noise or not, their print is clear for me to backpedal from. If others trespass, then I’ll expunge them from these records.
With this, I absolve you of this burden– as it seems to be a normalized one. For me to deny you this relief, would be to engage in moral asymmetry– to violate my ethics and commit a crime against both you and I.
This reasoning of mine is also why I refrain from referring to my essays when I’m interacting with others in-person. Same could be said when I considered making my forms of feedback anonymous to remove the variable of identity– to let people be candid without my treatment of others changing.
Moving onwards, it’s time for me to yap about the changes that’s going to be effect since you guys chose shorter essays. I was split and you acted as the tiebreaker, and I always commit to my word.
In the past, I used to write an omnibus of topics within a single essay– making it reach an average of 2,000+ words. Now, I’ll simply finish my essay after a few topics unless I have room to spare. Past example would be: A+B+C+D+E=2,500 words. Now, I’ll do something like this: A+B+C=1,500 | D+E+1,000.
As a result of this change, I’ll be uploading essays faster since I’ll be concluding them after less words. Something that I’ve overlooked is that I’ll have to make more title names, which is going to be a bit annoying for me.
After ‘Censor’s Identity’, I decided to restrict myself to using a single word for titles. The simplicity behind it is enough for me, and I don’t want to make a complex name reminiscent 8th-grader syndrome.
Sigh, I’ve challenged to fulfill my mandate and it seems that it’s going to be a fun one. Before I finish this off, I got one last topic to write about.
Names. I like people’s names since it’s the key to the shared memories I have with them. It’s much easier to recall certain times and events if you remember them. So while I do say that I tend to forget names and faces easily, I do put in some effort to remember people.
I can’t remember everyone I met in life, but I can capture a part of them– my writing being one of mediums. Once again, I’m only human– I’ve already forgotten a lot of things that I wanted to remember. Who knows how much I’ll remember of my life when I finally die?
It’s ironic how life is short enough for me to worry about my death now, but it’s long enough for me to forget my life. I’ve said enough for this essay, and it’d be terrible if I contradicted myself this early into my choice.
Author’s note: Forgot to mention, I don’t want to be that one guy fixated on a single subject– as if that’s the only thing going on in their life. While that might be true for me when it comes to writing, it’s obnoxious and unflattering behavior.
Writing is derived from me, I am not a derivation of my writing. Anyways, this is the essay that I would’ve published over ‘Move’ if I wanted to write continently. I chose the title ‘Fives’ since it’s the second coincidence of five people. I added an “s” since I might as well chuck a references to the Clone Trooper “Fives” from Star Wars.
Right now, I’m working on writing about ‘Move’ since my original idea was entirely different from it’s current state. I’ve been piled up with assignments so I’ve been dying to write for a few days now.
Speaking of death, what can I say? Death just comes to me as a good writing topic, and I’m aware that I’ve invoked it countless times now throughout my writing body. It’s just that good of a concept.
This essay is meant to serve as my herald, a bit of sentiment shouldn’t hurt– it’s been a while since I’ve wrote like this.
Let your energy be like that of the Sun, inexhaustible and ever-present. May your smile be verdant green, becoming one of nature’s beauties. Let your strength be like that of the moon, whose pull commands our tides. May your health be clear like that of a glacier, one resilient to illness.
Let your knowledge be like that of the Moon, erudite and illuminating. May your future be a vermillion red, a pride shared by both you and humanity. Let your burdens be borne by the stars, whose light eases you. May your experiences be as vast as the earth your feet tread upon.
I may not see nor know you, but my words shall remain regardless. As always, congratulations on reaching the end of this piece.